What We Don’t Know
When I took yoga for a P.E. credit in high school (one of few things I truly enjoyed), I remember very specific, recurring periods of time in savasana, the few minutes of "sleep" at the end of a practice. While others dozed and began to snore and our instructor stepped around us, gently dotting lavender oil on our foreheads, I would stare through the windows on the ceiling at how the clouds came in and out of the frame and wonder about my future. It was my five to ten minutes of reflection, and I remember just always wanting something better.
Looking back, those moments were very clear to me, and I think those kinds of moments are where I always goes back to. Think about it--a space that helps shed light on the kinds of things you want in your life! The ultimate scrapbook, but less kitsch. As I stayed up until 2 last night unable to sleep, I browsed a book on my shelf and wondered if I was where I thought I would be. In many ways, better than what I could have dreamed.
One day I awoke from a particularly disturbing one full of eight-legged creatures (my most irrational fear) and lied in bed and read a few Bible verses. During these times, I wonder from the trivial to the much chewed upon to the buried feelings, many of which help me realize that I still fear a lot of things. Sometimes, when driving home late at night or riding home under streetlamps, but in unison, all under the cloak of the night.
I’ve come to treasure the calmness when no one is staring at you or when no one really cares if that you're still awake and how they get to be these great little moments that we don't have to share with people. I love sharing, but I forget that it's not selfish to keep some things to myself.
I love that kind of cape. What do you fear? Do you run toward those things?
Back to Writing
Back to Writing